September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, a time set aside to talk openly about something too many of us are taught to whisper about. So this month, we’re choosing to speak up.
This isn’t an easy topic to write about, but it’s an important one. Talking about suicide openly, gently, and honestly can save a life. So today, we want to talk about what to look for, what to say, and what to do if someone you love may be struggling.
Why does this conversation matter?
Silence doesn’t protect people. It isolates them. When we’re afraid to ask the hard questions, the people we love can feel like they have to carry their pain alone. Learning the warning signs isn’t about assuming the worst about someone. It’s about paying attention, staying close, and knowing how to respond when it counts.
This matters just as much for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities as it does for anyone else. Sometimes signs can look different, or can be harder to notice if someone communicates differently, or if changes in mood or behavior are assumed to “just be part of” a disability. That assumption can cause us to miss something serious. Every person deserves to be seen fully, and that includes their emotional pain.
Warning signs to look out for
No single sign means someone is thinking about suicide, but a combination of these, especially if they’re new or getting worse, is worth taking seriously.
- Talking about wanting to die, feeling like a burden, or having no reason to live
- Withdrawing from family, friends, or activities they used to enjoy
- Big changes in sleep, eating, or energy
- Increased anger, agitation, or risk-taking behavior
- Giving away belongings or saying goodbye in ways that feel final
- A sudden sense of calm after a period of deep sadness or distress
- Loss of interest in things that used to matter to them
- For individuals who communicate non-verbally or differently, watch for changes in usual patterns, more distress behaviors, increased self-isolation, or a shift in how they engage with caregivers and routines
If something feels different or off, trust that instinct. You don’t need a checklist to justify checking in.
What to do next if you sense these signs
- Ask directly. Asking someone if they are thinking about suicide does not plant the idea or make things worse. It opens the door. You can say something simple like, “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself. Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”
- Listen without judgment. You don’t need the perfect words. You need to be present. Let them talk. Don’t rush to fix it or minimize what they’re feeling.
- Stay with them. If someone is in immediate danger, do not leave them alone. Remove access to anything that could be used for self-harm if you’re able to safely do so.
- Connect them to help. Reach out to a mental health professional, a doctor, or a crisis line together. For individuals with intellectual or developmental disabilities, involve their care team, support coordinator, or caregiver so the right kind of support is in place.
- Take every mention seriously. Even if it’s said quietly, jokingly, or only once. It’s always worth following up.
If you or someone you love is in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7 across the United States. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
